Avery Kate's Birth Story

Yes this is long! but I'm a "details" kinda person and I never want to forget any of these details.

At 9:45 pm Aaron and I were watching tv and I said "hang on. I need to pee real quick." While I was peeing it felt like I peed an air bubble which felt so strange. After wiping I realized I still felt "wet" and there were 2 drops of fluid on the floor. So I called Aaron in the bathroom and said "I think my water might have broken? But I'm not sure because there wasn't a gush like there was with Peyton?!" So he suggested to call Karen, my doula. She said it's possible I had a high break and baby was acting as cork keeping the rest of my bag of waters intact. She suggested to call and at least let my midwife know what was going on. Titi was the midwife on call and she suggested the same thing and to stay home until my contractions started. We called our neighbor Erica, Lillie and Eli's mom, at 10 pm so she could come get Peyton. She was here for about an hour while we packed the car up and got everything ready for when we needed to leave. Still no contractions at this point. I took a shower and got dressed in the skirt and shirt I wanted to labor in. Finally around 11 we woke up Peyton so she could go to Erica's. She knew that when she was going to a sleepover at Ms. Erica's house it was because mommy and daddy were headed to the hospital. But she was in such a deep sleep it didn't seem to register so she wasn't worried like we anticipated. She was pretty groggy but excited to have a sleepover! 

My contractions started about midnight and were about 7 minutes apart lasting 40 seconds. I had laid down in our bed and was able to actually breathe through them and rest in between. At 1:15 I got up to pee and a blood clot fell on the floor then 2 more in the toilet. Called Titi back and she said "oh ok. Well given you have a 45 minute drive and your last labor was quick... Go ahead and leave your house within the next 10 minutes." So 1:30 we headed to the hospital! Contractions on the way to the hospital were about 5-7 minutes apart and I was still able to intentionally breathe through them. 

Once we got to triage I still had some bleeding that was a little more than normal so they ran some blood tests just to make sure I didn't have pre-eclampsia. I was dilated to 5 almost 6, 100% effaced and Avery was at a -1 station. Titi said she could feel her head very nicely. She also said she could feel a bulge in my bag of waters which meant my membranes hadn't officially ruptured! Praise God!!! We were in triage for what seemed like awhile. Contractions were still 5-7 minutes apart but were a little bit of a challenge because I was propped up in bed. The pain was at about a 6 and I was very mindful that they weren't as bad as they were going to get. I was still in a mindset where I didn't need to put my whole focus on relaxing in between contractions. My shaking was minimal but I did have to focus on staying calm and not having a fan blowing on me.

Once we got into labor and delivery, Aaron worked hard to get everything all set up: my music with my birth playlist, getting out my scriptures to remind me my strength was coming from God, keeping up with our belongings and setting up my family photos for inspiration. He was also very vigilant on keeping my water bottle full. The nurse said that because of the bleeding I needed to stay on the monitor. I was able to sit on the ball to help with contractions instead of lay on the bed while they hooked up the monitors. Avery  was so low it was tough to get an accurate reading with the monitor especially sitting on the ball. But I really appreciated everyone trying hard to honor my birth plan request of letting me labor how I wanted to, when I wanted to. The position that helped the most with contractions was laying over the ball placed on the bed. Then when the contractions started to pick up in intensity Karen and Aaron started putting counter pressure on my back and that was a lifesaver!!! At this point I was pretty focused and serious but wasn't easily bothered. 

About 4:00 am I was swaying back and forth on the ball (still placed on the bed) and I felt my bag officially rupture and the gush of water hit the floor. Titi said "lets go to the bathroom just to make sure there wasn't anymore bleeding." While I was in the bathroom I felt my whole mood change. I was getting strong urges in my back and I started moaning during contractions. I was easily irritable. I could hear Aaron playing with a tennis ball in the room and I got pretty annoyed. (He didn't know it though until much later we were talking through everything!) Once I got back into the L&D room they wanted me to lay in a side lying position on the bed so I could get Avery into position. I was miserable and noticeably in transition. Luckily for me, transition only lasted about 15 minutes. In between contractions I was shaking a lot. It felt very similar to my labor with Peyton. Which confirms for me that once my membranes rupture my contractions get really intense and my adrenaline gets crazy! I felt like a caged animal because I felt like there had to be a better way to handle my contractions and laying down wasn't helping! Then I heard this noise that sounded like a drill and I snapped "what is that noise?!?" Aaron let me know it was the midwife getting the light from the ceiling ready because we were about to have a baby." I said "are we really that close?!" Titi said "well momma you tell me. What do you feel?" I replied "I don't know but I HAVE to push right now!" 

Titi checked my cervix and I was 9.5 cm dilated! I said "oh come on, Avery! I'm ready!" The rest of the .5 dilation was a cervical lip. So Titi put her fingers in it and I just had to push her fingers out and I was at a 10! At 4:23 Aaron sent out a text saying "we're minutes away." Which was when Titi was pulling down the light and I started pushing. Avery was born at 4:35 am. The time between my membranes rupturing and hearing Avery's first cry happened incredibly fast! Much quicker than I ever dreamed! The pushing though was so hard. For whatever reason I felt like I was pushing and nothing was happening. I had this irrational fear that I was going to be a "2 hour pusher." (Which was irrational because I only pushed for 20 minutes with Peyton. There was no reason to believe Avery's birth would be any different!) At one point I said "I can't do this" and Aaron said "Lauren, look down at your prize." Avery's head was completely out and I only had one more push. So one more gentle push and she was completely out. They immediately handed her to me. Aaron pulled up my shirt so I could put her on my chest while we waited for the cord to stop pulsing. Then Aaron cut her umbilical cord which was so special to watch. Aaron, Karen and Titi did such a great job reminding me not to push too hard or too fast. Aaron's voice is the one I heard the most and because of him I only had a 1st degree, very minor tear. 

Right away we could tell Avery was going to have a pretty soft cry. They were even trying to get her to cry a little louder just make sure she was ok! We did skin to skin immediately but she wasn't interested right away in nursing. It took a few minutes before she was ready! We were in the L&D room until about 7:30 and then we headed up to post-partum. We were exhausted. I could hardly keep my eyes open!

Avery's birth was exactly what we had prepared and hoped for! The contractions didn't feel out of my control. It's crazy to think back on it and how different it was from Peyton's birth. Obviously the outcome with a perfect little baby was the same. But I loved how alert and active I was during labor. Aaron was a rockstar because he knew much more about what to expect and was equipped to know what I needed. Having a doula was amazing. What mattered the most and where she was worth gold was how at ease she made Aaron feel which made me feel at ease. It was definitely the right choice for us to see a midwife, have a doula, take 12 weeks of Bradley Method classes and deliver at Texas Children's Pavilion for Women. For Peyton's birth I prepared by eating healthily, taking time for myself, reading books, taking the classes at the hospital and made sure she had everything she would need once she got here. For Avery's birth, I still did most of those but the difference was I prepared my body physically, spiritually and I made education about the birthing process a priority! 

It would have been nice to have the same birth for Peyton as I did Avery. But P's birth will always have such a special place in my heart too because at 9:54 am on 1/30/13 was the first time I had ever felt that kind of love!!! Both girls are completely different so it's only fitting they each have their own unique birth experience and entrance in this world! 

Last picture of Avery in my belly! Taken around 10:15 pm!

Arriving at the hospital.

 In triage.

I printed off some pictures that inspire me. Peyton, Avery, running the Houston Half Marathon and of course my biggest cheerleader, Aaron. It helped that he was wearing the "Drop the Hammer" shirt! :)

 Breathing through a contraction.

The counter pressure on my lower back.... game changer.

Letting Avery finish getting into position...

Pushing!

 

She's Here! Avery Kate Fry 8 pounds 2 ounces, 20.75 inches born at 4:35 on 6.23.2016

We did it!

 So thankful for my doula, Karen!

The wonderful team God used to help me through my natural labor and delivery! Karen (doula), Aaron (awesome coach), Titi (midwife), Rachelle (nurse)!

 

 Nursing Avery for the first time!

My absolute favorite... His love and tender heart for our girls is a beautiful thing.

If you made it through all of this....bless you! xoxo Lauren

The Hardest Part About 39 weeks

So today marks 39 weeks for pregnancy #2. Like most all moms say... whew this one just FLEW by. I was talking to Aaron a couple weeks ago and I said, we are about to have THIS baby. THIS baby that didn't happen right away like we planned. THIS baby girl God vividly assured me he had for us back last August on our San Antonio mission trip. THIS baby that we talked about at our First Family Retreat last fall when I was crying so hard I could actually not get the words out. THIS is the baby our First Family prayed over us. She is coming, and coming soon. God is good.

In the last few days I have realized though how much our family is about to change, and that's really hard for both Aaron and I. When Peyton was born it was bittersweet because it was no longer Aaron and I. We were married for 5 years before we had her... on purpose. Our marriage has to be #1 always. Our kids do not come before our marriage. When our marriage is solid and resting in God, our family follows suit. So we took that time to just be married. We knew Peyton would be a perfect addition, but there wouldn't be anymore last minute trips or whenever-we-wanted-date-nights (I mean seriously, when there aren't any kids though... every night is a date night. Trust me - non-children, married friends. Dinner at home just the two of you? Date night. Quick lunch at CFA just the two of you? Date.). So while we were excited and ready to meet Little Miss Small Fry #1, there was a part of us that was going to miss "just us."

This time the feeling is different. It involves the heart of a little girl who has been our whole world for almost 3.5 years. She's been it. My heart outside my body. Aaron's little buddy and clone. She rules the roost. She is fun, exciting, hilarious, so very smart, super strong personality, stunningly beautiful, has the best laugh, loves us something fierce and is the greatest challenge only God knew we needed. There are often days when I ask God "why did you pick us? What do you see in us that you thought would make us good parents to her? We are constantly needing to look to you because we feel we're failing." He has taught me "that's why. You needed a child who made you look to me. I didn't design parenthood to be something you handled on your own. I give you my children to raise on Earth, but you need my help." We love that sweet girl with every ounce of ourselves.

Here's the hardest part of being 1 week away from my due date. I am huge. I am tired. I am sore. I get out of breath easily. I am trying to raise a 3.5 year old and focus on my labor and delivery coming up. That's a challenge. But when Peyton says "momma hold me" and I can't, it breaks my heart. There are some times during the day when I physically just can't hold her. It hurts me so deeply and I know it does her too. Remember when I said she's super smart? She knows. She knows we are about to rock her little world. It won't be until much much later that she will realize we were giving her her "forever best friend." Aaron and I both have one and we honestly can't imagine our lives without Jordan (my younger sister) and Brandon (Aaron's younger brother). Our lives are certainly better because we have them. Yes growing up you fight like crazy or they get on your nerves, but we are better people because of them. I know Peyton and Avery will be the best of friends. I am so thankful God chose Peyton to be an older sister. I know she will be so so good at it. She is a leader and I can already see that in her. Aaron and I are both the oldest and it is a responsibility. Avery will ALWAYS look to her older sister for help, support, guidance and encouragement. Peyton will be so good at it. But let me tell you as the older sibling it's a joy and honor to be your younger sibling's biggest cheerleader. Aaron and I love cheering for Jordan and Brandon. We always have their backs, we always want what's best (even if they have to learn it the hard way - ahem Jordan), we wish we could glue their feet to our own paths because we know what worked and what didn't... but encourage them and support them down their own path (even if we're a nervous wreck for them the whole time). Peyton will rock that too. She will love her little sister so much.

But the last week has been really hard for little P. She has definitely pushed her daddy and I to our absolute breaking points on multiple occasions because she's just responding to the stress of our family dynamic about to change. Yesterday I walked up to the check out line at Kroger sobbing uncontrollably because we had SUCH a bad day. To end the grocery trip P was screaming at the top of her lungs "NOOOOO!" all because she thought we were leaving because she was in trouble for throwing down the yogurt carton which busted. We were leaving because my basket was completely filled and checklist completed. I was so tired, humiliated, ankles swollen and just reached my limit. At the end of her fit she said "momma hold me." It hit me at the moment, with our recent move and me not being able to hold her as much because of my belly, she is CRAVING my affection and attention. It's hard not to feel a little guilty. I know that will eventually go away, but today as the birth of Avery gets closer and closer, it's just hard. I love Peyton so much it hurts and I never want to see her hurting. So while I am trying to soak up every single minute of just mommy-Peyton time I get frustrated when we have days like yesterday. I want them all to be such happy memories and I don't want to look back and think about how hard it was.

Even though I'm not there yet, I imagine I won't remember the hard days, I will remember the sweet new beginnings. I will remember P meeting Avery for the first time at the hospital. Our first picture as a family of 4. I will remember seeing her in her new role as awesome big sister - helping with diaper changes, the huge smile on her face as she introduces Avery to everyone "this is my baby sister Avery Kate", making Avery laugh and growing up before our very eyes.

So this morning when my sweet friend who took the picture below said "how are you still holding her?!?!" I said "it's REALLY hard and there are some times during the day when I just can't. But right now, I'm feeling good so I will carry her all the way from the front of the church to the back because I know it will make her feel loved." xoxo Lauren

28 weeks... HOW?!

How in the world are we at 28 weeks and the 3rd trimester already? That's pretty crazy to me. I wanted to write down some things to mark this milestone in my pregnancy. I know it's normal to not be quite as intentional with the 2nd pregnancy as the 1st, but I feel bad. So I'm trying to be better at taking the fun pictures and writing about the milestones! So here goes!

How far along: 28 weeks! At our appointment this past week baby is measuring about a week bigger. Kinda hoping my high protein diet (recommended by the Bradley Method) doesn't cause me to have a super big baby. I was completely content with a 7 lb 12 oz little bundle last time around! Ha!
Gender: IT'S A GIRL! Her name will be Avery Kate.
Weight Gain: 23 lb. YIKES. Apparently I'm right on track, but I feel ginormous.
Maternity Clothes: Oh my. So I had been wearing jeans and maternity tees. But the other day we walked home from the park in 86 degree weather and I thought I was going to have a heat stroke. The very next day I took my little lady shopping and we got momma some tank tops and shorts. I do not know how I am going to survive May and June. Funny joke, God. Real funny! (I am also looking forward to maxi dresses. Amen.)
Sleep: Not well at all. I am tossing about every hour. I also noticed last night that I am now in the "hips fall asleep" stage. I really think this is backwards... shouldn't this be the time where I get to stockpile sleep?!? No? Also, my arms can fall asleep too. Last night Aaron fell asleep after me and left the tv on so I reached over him to grab the remote to turn it off. I was able to successfully lift my arm but didn't realize it was asleep until it limply and uncontrollably fell down and I smacked Aaron in the face. Oops!!!! :) That'll teach him to leave the tv on! Ha! Oh and I would give anything for a catheter at night. the peeing is crazy! I didn't experience this with Peyton until about week 36 or so. Even then it wasn't near as much as with this pregnancy!
Best moment this month: Talking to Peyton about feeding her baby sister. She asked me yesterday if she could help me feed her. So I told her that her baby sister wouldn't be taking a bottle all the time and that she would breastfeed. She asked how that would happen so I explained that to her and she said "But I can still help!" Knowing Peyton, she will definitely still insist she can help once Avery is here. Today at breakfast Peyton informed Aaron (are you thinking bacon and eggs around our family table this morning? Oh nope. We were in a restaurant.) that "when her baby sister comes, milk comes from mommy's boobies and she is going to help feed her." My conversation with her didn't quite go like that... but I think she gets it?!?! Haha!
Worst moment this month: Pretty much anytime I snap at Peyton because I'm just exhausted. We are also moving and still in the process of selling our house. So my stress level can jump to "crazy person" kinda easily. Sometimes I end the day disappointed how many times I got frustrated with her because of my own stress or agenda.
Miss anything: Being able to to do physical things like pick up a heavy box, hold Peyton whenever I want or do my normal pre-pregnancy exercise.
Movement: ALL.THE.TIME. Oh my goodness! This little girl moves sooo much more than Peyton did. She is on the move constantly! :)
Cravings: Orange juice, fruit smoothies, cottage cheese, my non-dairy ice cream!
Queasy or sick: No, thank goodness!
Looking forward to: My baby showers to celebrate Miss Avery! :)

How God fits into Pregnancy #2

So here we are closer to half way through pregnancy #2 than I would like -- 16 weeks to be exact. This pregnancy has been so incredibly different than my pregnancy with Peyton. Like night and day difference. Could it be a boy and that's why? Guess we'll find out in a couple weeks, but for now I think I will just blame it on my heart (although there really wasn't any denying the terrible nausea and fatigue. Holy smokes.).

You see, when Aaron and I began trying for #2 things didn't go according to our plans and our world was rocked. With Peyton it happened immediately. This one, God had some teaching and working to do. When I began falling on my face before God and having real conversations with Him about our future plans for our family, I had not ever up to this point prayed for something so hard. It was truly a humbling, inspiring and growing experience for us. We grew so much in our faith, together as a couple and as a family. Then one day in October, right after our amazing trip to Disney World, I got a positive pregnancy test. Happy end of the story, right? Not yet. 

Right after I freaked out, went to show Aaron and my heart leaped with happiness, it was very heavy. I immediately thought about the people who are so close to me who have experienced loss and at that very moment I put my sweet pregnancy in a glass box. Where I really thought it would be safe. "Safe," maybe. But so far away. In that glass box I also put God in there as the protector. Which sounds good except, I need Him. In this time of life where goodness gracious I need Him to guide me, lead me and save me everyday, I can't access Him when he is in a glass box. 

I hit my breaking point last week. My poor, sweet midwife had no idea who she was getting last Thursday at my appointment. A broken momma. I know it sounds crazy, but God showed up in my exam room to hold me and encourage me through that sweet midwife. I had huge disconnect going on. My head was saying "Ok whoa. You have a full fledged, cannot hide it anymore, baby bump. Your body is growing out of control." But I couldn't connect those physical changes to a sweet baby because I wasn't allowing myself to feel pregnant. Remember, that pregnancy was in a glass box. I didn't have access to it. 

I started to feel down and out of control. I was GREATLY reminded (thanks to Satan) of the Houston Marathon coming up this weekend. I even cried on the way to breakfast last Saturday because I kept seeing the Marathon signs at all the Chevron gas stations. Hormonal? Maybe. This time last year I was in the best shape of my life. I felt great emotionally, spiritually, physically -- all around. Not only was I in great shape, I was doing something for ME. I was working toward a goal that not only I achieved, I actually did pretty well. It felt good. Now, I was just out of control... and all for what? I had some heart-homework to do. Operation "talk to a lot of my mom friends who have 2 kids and get my feelings out there" had begun. Then I had my appointment on Thursday and it clicked. I heard the heartbeat of my sweet baby and I just wept. It was like the wall around my heart just melted. 

Fast forward to today. At our church we are getting ready for IF:Gathering and we started a new study today to prepare our hearts. At IF:Gathering we will be digging deeper into what it means to live like Jesus. Well in order to live like Jesus, you have to know Him. We are studying Jesus' "I AM" statements to learn WHO He is. Today's statement was "I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father expect through me." John 14:6. Oh you mean to know God I can't just put Him in a glass box? Nope. I need Jesus. This study is perfect timing for me. I know studying the life of Jesus and believing He is who he says he is, is what I need. I am in need of a savior. I can't hold onto my pregnancy or my faith with a death grip anymore... I just need Jesus. 

2016 has already started out pretty deep. Whew. I have a feeling I am going to need to hold on tight to Jesus this year. It's going to be quite the ride.

Just for fun (and my own sweet memories), a few pregnancy facts (I think I will add a bump picture later):
How far along: 16 weeks
Gender: Don't know yet! We really would be thrilled with either boy or girl. Girl: We know this. Been there, done that. Also, I have a sister so I know how amazing having a sister would be for Peyton. Boy: I would love to see Aaron also be a dad to a boy. I think it would be fun to have one of each gender for each of us. Also, I think it would be easier on #2 if it's a boy. Peyton is such a strong force to be reckoned with, there are big shoes to fill for a little sister. Whereas with a boy, he will pave his own way. Those are totally just my thoughts but we genuinely would be happy with either a boy or girl! Our predictions - Me: boy Aaron: girl. (His momma always said to punish him for all the heck he put her through, he would have all girls. So he said "If mom had anything to do with it... it's a girl" :)) We will find out in a few weeks.
Weight gain: 10 lbs.(I really hope that's normal! Ha!)
Maternity clothes: Wearing mostly maternity clothes or comfy sweats around the house. I put maternity pants on at week 10. My sweet belly popped MUCH quicker than with Peyton. yikes!
Sleep: Still sleeping great.
Best moment this month: So far, hearing the heartbeat last week. But I am pretty sure celebrating Peyton's 3rd birthday at the very end will be such an emotional and fun highlight! HOW IS SHE ALMOST 3?!?!
Worst moment this month: Working though my emotions mentioned above was rough, but so worth it!
Miss anything: My non-maternity clothes. For whatever reason I am NOT into the rouching on most maternity shirts this time around.
Movement: Yes! I can definitely feel sweet little flutters... especially when big sister is sitting in my lap!
Cravings: Chips and salsa, diet root beer and diet ginger ale.
Queasy or sick: Feeling MUCH better. Second trimester is where it's at.
Looking forward to: Finding out if it's a boy or girl and sharing with our family! ;)

xoxo Lauren